Often when a man or woman comes to me, they're attracted to
someone, but a little voice is telling them, "Warning!
Warning!" Together, we look for the danger signs. If you
see any of the following, stop before you've made an
emotional investment. Even if you despair of ever finding a
someone who's normal, healthy, and single, hang in there and
keep looking.
- 1. He Or She Abuses Drugs Or Alcohol
- As in the broken popcorn machine story, there are
problems that your love and good intentions can't fix. If
someone is an alchoholic or a drug abuser, they need
professional help. Even if they're bi-sexual leaning toward
gay, don't think you can change them.
- 2. He Or She Hates Their Mother
- Someone who can't get along with their own family
and has no love for their parents is probably an
emotional cripple. Sure, their family history makes
you feel sorry for them, but don't try to be a
shrink/lover. You may really fall for them, only to
have them repeat the mistakes they learned at home.
- 3. He Or She Hates All Your Friends Or They Hate
Him Or Her
- If they can't stand your friends, it's a very ominous
sign. If none of your friends can stand him or her, beware;
they may be right.
- 4. He Or She's Often Not Nice To Others
- They're nice to you, but you've noticed they get angry,
lie, cheat, steal or exhibit other anti-social behavior.
Someone who treats others badly will eventually treat you
badly too. Count on it.
- 5. He Or She Has A Dubious History
- They're mysterious about their past and have no old
friends or ex lovers who still talk to them. Beware, they
may have treated everyone in their life so badly that no one
never wants to see him or her again.
- 6. He Or She's A Charming Flake
- Acting charming is often a way to shirk responsibility.
If they don't want to grow up, you can't make them.
- 7. He Or She Flirts And Threatens To
Cheat
- Someone who is always looking over your shoulder to see
what they're missing is going to make your life hell
forever.
- 8. You've Developed Strange Illnesses Since You
Started Going With Him Or Her
- Whoops! You may already be in too deep. If your head
aches all the time and your back hurts and you have no
medical explanation, a likely suspect is the new person in
your life.
See "`Qualifying' Someone" for
the whole story on how to check someone out (whether they
display any of these danger signs or not), and read "The Nosebiter" for the story of a
woman who did no checking at all.
Related Keywords: Bad Prospects, Qualifying Someone
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copyright 1995-2007 Tracy Cabot
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