Who doesn't identify with Morales, the Bronx-born hoofer
in"Chorus Line," when she sings "What I did for love?"
Who doesn't cringe with recalled humiliation? Is there a
man or woman over twenty who hasn't done embarrassing things
in the name of love? Until I wised up, I certainly did more
than I should have for undeserving louts (see "What I Did
For Love (Tracy)").
While Colleen, Sandy and myself are extreme examples of
doing too much for love, almost everyone has made a fool of
themselves over someone at one time or another. It seems to
be an equal opportunity problem which doesn't discriminate
between men and women (women just seem more willing to send
in their sad stories).
The men buy gifts, run errands, fix leaky plumbing, and get
stood up repeatedly on Saturday night only to beg for a date
next Saturday night. Women seem to combine old-fashioned
"sacrificing in the name of love" with post-feminist
freedoms, pursuing the objects of their affection with
abandon, like obsessed Sadie Hawkins characters.
Either way, shame, guilt, and common sense go out the
window. When he or she doesn't respond, you change yourself
to what you think he wants. When he or she grants you
occasional tidbits of time or affection, you react like a
wiggling puppy dog. Your self-esteem crumbles until finally
you realize you've wasted months or years of your life in
Often, men and women in the throes of one-sided love no
longer have lives. They've given them up in the pursuit of
Mr. or Ms. Unappreciative.
If you are, wake up! Get out! It doesn't have to be this
way! Reading "The Broken Popcorn
Machine Parable" will help.
- Test: Are You Doing Too Much For Love?
- You feel desperate for his or her love.
He or she takes you for granted.
You make all the plans, call most of the time, pay
most of the time, and buy all the presents.
You get back from him or her a miserable fraction of
what you give.
You're constantly worried about losing him or her.
Related Keywords: Letting Go, Giving Too Much
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