"Ask Dr. Tracy" Love Library

Unrealistic Expectations

OK, so you no longer believe the Hollywood-inspired fantasy that you'll meet someone who's beautiful and perfect and who will love you no matter what you do. But there are other unrealistic expectations which most everyone finds hard to shake.

Here are the ten worst relationship-sabotagers. And if the first few look dumb and obvious, keep reading; before you get to the end of the list, one or more may hit pretty close to home.

that the right man/woman will fix my life

that he/she will be totally loving and totally attentive, yet remain mysterious

women -- that he will be better and smarter in every way

women -- that he will call all the shots and make all the moves

men -- that she'll naturally be better at domestic chores

men -- that she'll also be less capable at everything else

that if it's true love, he/she will know what I want without me having to ask

that he/she will change what I don't like and instead, do what I want

or if not, that the "little things" which irritate me will get better in some other way

that the relationship will remain the same

All of these expectations are unrealistic. If any single one of them sounds reasonable to you, that expectation is capable of making you crazy, your mate crazy, and ultimately sabotaging a realistically good relationship.

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