1. You Don't Have To Look Like A Movie Star
It's true that men are instinctively attracted to big-
busted, sexy-looking women (see
"Developing Realistic Criteria"). But intelligent men
are wise enough to ignore this instinct and enlightened
enough to look for a woman who will bring more valuable
attributes to a long-term relationship.
Being affectionate is one of these attributes. Perhaps
because men want affection but find it more difficult to
initiate than we do, most men rate affection as more
important than beauty. Men are definitely turned off by
women who aren't lovable and affectionate.
Do you have frequent opportunities to be warm, open and
affectionate with your family or kids? Or are you so tied
up with your career and fighting to succeed that you've lost
touch with your affectionate, vulnerable side? Or have you
been hurt so much by past relationships that you're afraid
of being open and affectionate with a man? Men sense this
If you've been having trouble attracting men, try being more
open and affectionate. How? Many times women will come for
counseling and show more love and affection for my dogs or
cats than they have in years with a man. Getting a pet can
sometimes reopen your affectionate side.
If you find it easy to love and hug and pamper a pet, yet
you feel inhibited about showing affection to a man you care
about, try thinking about him as a cat or a dog you love.
Feed him. Pet him. Love him. Shower him with affection.
He'll appreciate that more than a perfect 10 figure or a
2. You Do Need To Be Happy
Being happy is also more important than being beautiful.
When men talk about traits they want in a women, most often
mentioned is a "good personality." Basically, that means
someone who is happy.
Nothing is more important in attracting a man than the way
he perceives you and how life with you would be. So, if you
want to attract a happy, healthy man, look like you're
happy, enjoying your life and having fun.
If you're unhappy with your life, keep it to yourself and
work on solving the problem. Men are drawn to women who are
enjoying their lives. Your lover is not your therapist or
The truth is that no man is attracted to a depressed woman
unless he's neurotic himself. If you meet a guy who seems
happy listening to you whine and complain, don't be
flattered, be worried. A man who falls in love with you
when you're depressed has a sick, desperate need to feel
superior. He will fall right out of love if you ever get
happy. If you find such a man, his price is your having to
stay depressed forever.
Get happy. Then get a healthy man.
3. If You're In A Depressing Relationship, Get Out Of
If you're not attracting men because you're depressed, and
the reason you're depressed is because you're in an
unsatisfying relationship, get out of it. See the "Letting Go" Section of my Library,
starting with "Convenient
Don't stay in a go-nowhere relationship, waiting for Mr.
Right to rescue you. When you're half-in, half-out of an
unfulfilling relationship, you are not really available for
a wonderful man if he does come along. He will sense your
inability to be totally available, and you remain stuck with
the previous unfulfilling man.
4. Project The Right Image
Are you sane, balanced, settled, with both feet on the
ground and your head on your shoulders? Or are you
scattered and neurotic, without any stability in your life?
Would a man feel safe marrying you, allowing you to use his
credit cards, write checks from his checkbook, and most
importantly making you the mother of his children? Would he
feel safe leaving his children with you?
If you're the wild and crazy type, that's probably the kind
of man you'll attract. Of course, sane men are attracted to
crazy women -- for a lark. Later, when a sane man picks a
wife, he picks a sane woman. He wants someone he can take
home to his mother without being disowned for life. He
wants someone he can take around his business associates
without losing business. He wants someone he can depend
When you're ready to get serious, tone down your most
outrageous behaviors and show him your responsible side.
Let a man see that you are the type of woman he can make a
Related Keywords: Attracting, Meeting People
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